Lesson 2: ATTRACTION
The question I explored yesterday was; Do Opposites Attract?! And I responded by saying that “NO” opposites don’t attract, mutual AGREEMENT is required. The “Power of Agreement” in the building of a successful marriage was one of the first lessons I learned from my failed marriage. Read yesterday’s blog here.
Today, I am still exploring the subject of “ATTRACTION” but focusing today on PHYSICAL ATTRACTION…
Have you hear people say things like; “beauty is skin deep”, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and “the outward doesn’t matter it is the heart that does… God looks at the heart!”.
They say that to downplay and minimize the role of looks and physical attraction in a marriage. Unfortunately, that was the mindset I had prior to my previous marriage. With hindsight, I NO longer agree with those sayings.
The TRUTH is that, when it comes to marriage, “beauty” is NOT skin deep, “beauty” MATTERS! There is a VERY physical side of marriage. Actually, the marriage relationship is the ONLY one that is supposed to be PHYSICALLY intimate. That means you HAVE to be physically attracted to your spouse for it to work. Sexual intimacy, or a lack of it, can make or break a marriage.
There were many things that my spiritual leaders at the time made me apologize for. But i want to say this to you; Don’t apologize for who you are and the kind of individual you are physically attracted to. Physical attraction was missing (at least on my part) in my failed marriage and its value is a lesson I learned with hindsight. That made intimacy VERY hard for me but God gave me the grace and I fulfilled my sexual obligations as much as I could and was NEVER sexually or emotionally unfaithful during our entire marriage. But I privately grieved my lack of physical fulfillment and often had to fantasize to really get into the the act, if you know what I mean.
Also, I like men who are physically expressive/demonstrative and my ex wasn’t so that was another challenge that impacted the health of our relationship and one of the factors, at least for me, that I believe ultimately led to its demise.
Tips for Total Success
1. If you are single, make sure you date and marry the kind of individual you are physically attracted to. Don’t marry someone short if you like tall people. If you do, your eyes will wander when you get married and you’re very going to stray at one point or another.
2. If you are already married, have a sincere, open and honest conversation with your spouse about what turns you on! LOL. What you like and what you are attracted to. Let each partner make real efforts and adjustments to accommodate the desires that the other finds attractive. It may mean investing in a treadmill, gym membership, a good salon and a shopping spree but it is worth it to save your marriage.
This is the conclusion of the matter, PHYSICAL ATTRACTION & INTIMACY play a HUGE role in marriage… that is one of the major lessons I learned. God made us sexual beings for a reason. Don’t minimize it!
Wish you the best… Lesson 3 follows tomorrow. Sharing is caring. Share this blog with others! Thanks.
As the self-styled, “Dream-midwife, Spiritual Money Coach and Queen of Networking”, Princess Bola Adelani, aka the Total Success Coach, equips business professionals and others with the knowledge, motivation, power and skills to master ‘The Four Pillars of Total Success; Money, Mind, People and Spirit’.
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